How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

I read this book around 4 years ago as the stereotypical university keeno, obsessed with everything to do with being employable.

It was given to me by my boss, who listed it as recommended reading if I wanted to learn how to be a good networker.

The title speaks for itself in terms of what it’s about. It’s a fantastic book, the fact it’s 82 years old and still widely recommended today is testament to its usefulness.

There are many takeaways from the book. For example Carnegie claims that a key aspect of getting people to do what you want is appealing to their self-centered nature. It’s much easier to make someone do something for you if they think they are doing it for themselves.

After reading it, I applied some of the book’s teachings and I could definitely see some improvements. A great self-help book is one you can actually apply.

The only issue I had was that I felt the whole premise of it was quite manipulative. It’s good because in the aim of influencing others you ultimately have to make people feel valued, but then at the other end it’s not genuine. But I guess you gotta do what you gotta do to eat.

A lot of things you hear today about influence and getting people to do what you want probably originated from this book. So if you’re into that you should start with this.

Also I wouldn’t recommend reading it with a friend. You’ll just end up being paranoid for months trying to work out whether your friend is trying to use the techniques in the book on you and they’ll be doing the same! 😂

What do you guys think? Is manipulation a necessary part of influence? Is manipulation looked at too much in a negative light?