Do you recognise this man?
Have you ever found that it’s in monotonous tasks like washing the dishes or hanging up your laundry that you feel your brain wander, roll and mull things over the most? And then you have that eureka moment where it all clicks together, and in that moment of epiphany not only are all your problems solved but you know full well that you needn’t have ever even worried about the trivial things anyway. What a glorious moment that is. However, more often than not - a day or so later - you forget everything and you’re back to square one. This happens to me regularly. There are lessons from the past that I assure myself I’ll remember should I come across a similar situation down the road, but rarely does it work out that way. If I do, it’s normally not until after I’ve handled the situation badly.
Wouldn’t life be great if you could never forget anything, you’d remember that reason you vowed never to make that mistake again and you’d definitely be killing your exams. But life doesn’t work like that, and it can sometimes be just as valuable to forget things.
There must be some way to remember important life-long lessons….. What if you could tattoo these lessons on your body?
Tattoos are a way of permanently adorning your body with things you think are worthy. We have tattoos for many reasons: they may be solely aesthetic, carry deep personal meaning or just serve as a reminder (generic cliche messages like carpe diem and its “seize the day” sentiments spring to mind). It would make perfect sense to tattoo important life lessons, things that you never want to forget. Sometimes our memory defeats us; it betrays or misleads. Something like a tattoo would surely remedy that, reminding us each and every day of the thing we dare not forget. Every time you looked at your naked body in the mirror, you would see those words etched out in your skin.
So ask yourself - What important life lessons would I permanently have as a tattoo?
Here are some of mine, lessons I know I will need to remember for the rest of my life.
Be yourself - It’s hard to admit but sometimes I look at others and wish I could do what they do. I then realise pretty swiftly that they can’t do what I can. I’m in my own lane. Once I lose that and try to become someone else, not only am I unlikely to match up to the grand vision, but I’m also doing myself a massive disservice. If you think wishing you were someone else is bad, imagine not knowing who you are?
Take a look at Lebron James, he is one of the greatest sport stars the world has ever seen and has the world at his fingertips. But to be Lebron you also have to take everything else that comes with him, you have to accept growing up never having your father in your life. Are you willing to lose your father to become Lebron James? I’m sure Lebron appreciates what he has right now but what do you think that kid from Akron would have gave to have his father in his life?
Learn to accept yourself and all the benefits that come with it.
Life is multi-dimensional - Multi-dimensional may not be the right use of the word, but I’m going to use it anyway. There are so many different aspects to life, many different experiences, opinions, thoughts and perspectives. You’ll only get the full picture if you look at things from other dimensions.
For example, having your own business is great, but in pursuing your own vision you sacrifice the certainty of a salary, at least at first. On the flipside, you have the autonomy and freedom as a business owner that you may not have in a more ‘stable’ job.
You can apply this to EVERYTHING. Nothing is black and white, things are never as good or as bad as they seem when looking from another dimension. This is why I’m starting to believe you can only be objective in rare cases, something I touched on in my tweet below
It’s all about delayed gratification - Delayed gratification is the process of resisting the temptation of an immediate reward for a later reward, often the later reward is significantly better than the immediate reward.
It’s the reason why most of the nerds/unpopular kids at school are now doing much better than the so called ‘popular kids’. They sacrificed the immediate reward of social acceptance for the later and much better reward of a stable, flourishing adult life. Delayed gratification is at the core of why people do great thing e.g. 1) skipping junk food and going to the gym, 2) not spending on that thing you like and saving up to invest in something that’ll bring you lasting income. Those are just a few small examples on delayed gratification. It is vital for greatness.
Instant gratification is cancer. Most of life’s vices come from instant gratification; the search for it will make you give up on things that don’t seem worthwhile in the present but will for sure be worthwhile in the future. You have to put in your 10,000 hours.
Long term > Short term
Here is a badly drawn graph I quickly drew showing the contrast between unhealthy and healthy eating when it comes to delayed gratification.
Enjoying the process is more important than the outcome - This links to the previous lesson. Delaying gratification is easy when you love the process. It’s difficult to feel fulfilled if you base your life solely on goals; achievements are fleeting and a lot of the time when we achieve a goal, it can dawn on us that it’s not really what we’re after. If you fully think about why you are trying to achieve certain goals, you may come to realise that you’re pursuing it for the wrong reasons, or that you’re trying to appease other people and not yourself. Usually, by the time we do think about this, it’s too late.
Making a lot of money is a prime example, this is a common goal that leads many to sacrifice their enjoyment of life, only to be filled with regret when they realise there are more important things out there. If you are able to find something you enjoy – even if you’re making less money than you’d like from it - then you’ve hit a different kind of jackpot.
Enjoying the process of what you’re doing also makes it a LOT easier to actually do it. To enjoy is to thrive. This is something I touched on in my previous post. If you were to ever start anything that really matters to you, that would be your competitive advantage. If you love what you’re doing, you will literally never stop.
You may already be aware of these lessons. Most people are. The annoying thing is we tend to forget them, or lose sight of them in the course of daily life.
Now Dory could have done with some tattoos
That’s why I think getting a tattoo of these lessons would be a great idea. A reminder for life. But would that also be a bit weird? Would you want someone reading your life lessons? People get tattoos of their favourite football team, so I’d hope to think getting a tattoo of something useful would not be a big deal.
Film fanatics may have read this post thinking that the tattooing theme – the ink reminders on your body - sounds very familiar. That’ll likely be because you’ve watched Memento. For those who haven’t - do. It’s a modern classic, a film about a man who suffers from short term memory loss approximately every five minutes, rendering him unable to form new memories. The plot is one of vengeance; a search for the person(s) who attacked him and killed his wife. But how does he ever keep up? To track information, he uses tattoos and photographs. That’s a very short summary. The film is about that and plenty more. It messes with your mind in similar ways to The Prestige, The Departed and Fight Club. If you like those films then it’s a must watch.
The film’s protagonist – the man in this post’s cover image - utilises tattoos to assist his memory and give his life meaning. Maybe we should do the same for the most significant things?
Did you enjoy reading this post? It would mean the world to me if you shared it if you did.
Thanks to Fletch for editing and reading my initial draft.